Every three months, work is a little more stressful than the two months the preceded it. This one happens to be a stressful one. I have spent this month creating four writing and three reading tests, grading said tests, and filing electronic reports on all of my 71 students. This are time-consuming for various reasons. The tests must be fair. I'm terrible at math so adding the test scores and double-checking them take a while. And each report takes one to three minutes, depending on the student and the class. Combine that with my return to Hapkido (which takes 90 minutes out of my day in terms of prep and actually doing it) and I have not had much time to post here.
Saturday morning I leave for Beijing. On the docket: the Forbidden City, the Great Wall, duck, the night market and hopefully a kung fu show. I will return Tuesday morning. For those of you keeping track, this will be the sixth foreign country I've been to (seven if you count Louisiana) and the seventh Summer Olympics city (L.A., Atlanta, Seoul, Tokyo, Montreal and Munich are the others), although Atlanta was the only time I visited when the Olympics were actually going on.
I shall return more comprehensively in March with Beijing photos and stories. Until then, let's play Jeopardy! I'll take the Olympics for $200:
The answer is:Antigua and Barbuda, Bahamas, Barbados, Belize, Costa Rica, Dominica, Dominican Republic, El Salvadore, Grenada, Guatemala, Haiti, Honduras, Jamaica, Mexico, Nicaragua, Panama, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Trinidad and Tobago.
What North American teams can Canada beat in hockey?
Questions, comments, demands or suggestions can be sent here, or leave a comment on the Mark Fitzhenry's "Korea Blogging!" page here.
I suppose I should be thankful for any Olympic coverage I get here, especially considering the volume of crap NBC continues to put out (just Google "NBC Olympics coverage" and pick whatever critical link you want), but the short-track and conventional-track figure skating continues to get most of the play here, thanks to two suprising gold medals in the past few days and Mo Tae Bum's silver medal last night.
Now, given that the commentary is in Korean, I am unable to glean much analysis from the commentators. For what it's worth, I don't think the Korean audience does either. I'm able to catch the hana, dul, hana, dul intonation (one, two, one, two) from one commentator as a Korean sprints down a straightaway. And if the announcers go ballistic, I can pretty much gather than the Korean guy won. (In the Koreans' defense, they had never won a winter gold medal outside of short-track speedskating until this week.)
In lieu of proper video, here is a comparison of how announcers from my country and my adopted home typically call it when their compatriot wins a gold medal:
American announcer:And there it is, it's official, what a heartwarming story this is, all that training, all that living in the back of a cousin's used Chevy truck, eating raw potatoes and frozen Spam three meals a day for two years, sometimes two times a day when the money was tight, and it's finally paid off, and what a scene, with Mom and Dad here, having walked all the way uphill from Chicago, they might have contracted something, they are going to see a doctor tomorrow, possibly cancer, we can't confirm that, but their oldest daughter told me yesterday in an exclusive sit-down interview that it's among their possible concerns, and with all that weight on everybody's shoulders, the dream comes true, and what glory here today, it is all worth it.
Korean announcer:EEEEEEEEE-YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WE WIN! WE WIN! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
For more information about the short-track speedskating rivalry between the U.S. (specifically Apolo Anton Ohno, check out this blog entry from Brian in Jeollanam-do. As usual, Brian does a pretty thorough post, although I'll admit the comments section is not exactly the best advertisement for the human race.
Questions, comments, demands or suggestions can be sent here, or leave a comment on the Mark Fitzhenry's "Korea Blogging!" page here.
Sunday marked two holidays here in South Korea. The first, and more traditional one, is the start of the new Lunar New Year -- or Soellal in Hangul, which I tend to speak every now and then. The three-day holiday is held on the second new moon of the winter solstace. On Saturday and Sunday, nearly every business was closed. Exceptions included convenience stores and a few restaurants. This is one of two big family get-together holidays (the other being Chuseok, a harvest holiday similar to our Thanksgiving, in the fall). To illustrate the sheer volume of Koreans going off to see their families, every train ticket out of Seoul on Thursday night was sold out two weeks in advance. Ditto for all trains on Monday from Busan heading to Seoul.
Sunday was also Valentine's Day. Here, it is women and girls pick the boys/men they are interested in and buy them chocolate. That's Part 1.
Part 2 is March 14 -- or White Day. This is when the men, if they are interested, reciprocate by buying women gifts. Based on my Internet research, the men's gifts to women are expected to triple the value of what they received. Part 3 is April 14 -- or Black Day. On this day, those who don't find love eat noodles in a black bean paste. Loneliness and carbs -- just add a soccer marathon on TV and I'm all set.
Olympics update: This evening, the Seoul Broadcasting System, which has the Olympics rights, showed the 1,500-meter short-track speedskating competition for -- and this is just a rough guess -- the 674th time this weekend. To SBS's credit, they showed biathlon live at 4:30 a.m. yesterday morning. But their nationalism here rivals if not exceeds NBC's usual parade of Star-Spangled Cheerleading, so I got to watch Lee Jung-Su win South Korea's first medal of these Games. These Games have affirmed two Korean short-track speedskating stereotypes: They are really, really good. And they bitch too much. Seriously.
Given the amount of play that Jung-Su's victory has received, I can only wonder if Kim Yu-Na -- who already has a a smoothie and a cell phone named after her -- will get her own channel if she wins gold as expected.
The Land of Random Moments: Last night I was eating dinner -- pigs' intestines, now that you've asked -- with fellow Gyeongju Marauder Geoff "Here Comes The" Hardaker when a Korean male in his early 20s left his table of four and approached ours.
"I don't speak English," he told us in English. Then he asked for the caps to our drink bottles. He needed two. For what reason, we had no idea. But Geoff gave him his cap from Hite beer, and I handed him mine from my Pepsi. The man said he needed a beer bottle cap. Sorry, we told him, we ordered only one big bottle of beer. So the man grabbed the waiter, ordered a beer for our table and put it on his tab. I popped the beer open, gave him the cap and he returned to his table. So if you're ever in a Korean restaurant, you can order a beer or just wait for a stranger to start his bottlecap collection. Your call.
iTunes update: This weekend I found myself on a childhood flashback kick, so I caved and added Slippery When Wet. This next line is dedicated to my friends who attended school when I did: The album is nearly ... um ... hoo-boy ... 24 years old. Okay then, moving on, I also bought a bunch of songs by Dexy's Midnight Runners. And yes, they did more songs than this one. Here is their downright respectable -- and arguably better-than-the-original -- cover of Van Morrison's "Jackie Wilson Said" as performed on The Young Ones:
(Trivia for my British readers: When they did this song on "Top of the Pops," the photo on the big screen was not of Jackie Wilson, but of Scottish darts world champion Jockie Wilson. Toodle-lang-a-lang.)
Questions, comments, demands or suggestions can be sent here, or leave a comment on the Mark Fitzhenry's "Korea Blogging!" page here.
You never know what you're going to get when you take a cab ride in South Korea. Today, it was an apple.
A very friendly driver picked me up this afternoon. I told him the same thing I tell every driver when I need to catch a bus to Gyeongju: Dongdaegu yuk. That would be Dongdaegu Station. Now, technically, the station I refer to is fro trains only, but there are several express bus terminals in the area, so I (and almost everyone else) just tells the cab driver to go to Dongdaegu and we're fine.
The driver asked if I was going to Seoul. He didn't speak any English, and I hardly speak Korean, but I was able to convey, after a good bit of back-and-forth, that I was meeting friends in Gyeongju. It always feels good to get a point across in a language you hardly speak. I take it Sarah Palin feels the same way when she uses English. Anyway, he told me that the terminal I really want is Dongyang bus terminal, which in Korean is "Dongyang bus-uh terminal." I thanked him for the help, and he thanked me by reaching into the compartment next to his seat and giving me an apple. You would have thought by the smile on his face as I ate it that I was his baby nephew taking his first steps.
Another cab story: Two weeks ago, when a cab driver misheard my destination, he profusely apologized and upon dropping me off knocked 800 won off the fare. He didn't have to do that -- mispronunciations happen, and for all I know I screwed up. I know of some cab drivers who would have blamed the foreigner, grumbled the whole drive, and never would have knocked money off the price.
I've had drivers refuse to pick me up. Others say the bare minimum. Others practice their English. I've had wayward trips, slow trips and life-threatening trips. Some grumble when a trip is too short to earn a decent fare. I have to say the good surprises continue to outweigh the unpleasant experiences.
Sports update: After Liverpool defeated Everton 1-0 in their derby match Saturday, the Korean channel carrying the game chose a rather non-testosteronish backdrop for the post-match highlights: "Hey Jude," a clever ode to both sides' home base in Liverpool. ... I will be watching the Super Bowl live on my computer at 8:30 a.m. Monday. I bought the NFL package after I assumed the Patriots would at least show up in the first round. So, to all my American friends, I hope you enjoy the game, and by that I mean I hope the Saints win.
Questions, comments, demands or suggestions can be sent here, or leave a comment on the Mark Fitzhenry's "Korea Blogging!" page here.
This week, I banned one class full of soon-to-be middle school students from using "Oh my God" in the classroom. Now, before you hail me as a champion of the Second Commandment -- which I've been known to break once or twice, most notably in St. Bernard's Church during my goddaughter's christening -- you should probably know I am not doing this to protect religion, which already has its special guardian in Fox News.
I've banned it because Korean students use the term for no other reason than they want to say it. I must admit that I never noticed it much until the much-esteemed Brian in Jeollanamdo blog named "Oh my God" as the third most-annoying use of English by South Koreans in 2009. As Brian explained, kids say it with no context behind it at all.
Hello students. "Oh my God!" How are you today? "Oh my God!" I see nobody is absent. "Oh my God!" Can you open your student books please? "Oh my God!" Turn to page 102. "Oh my God!" (Unintelligible warbling, just to see if they're listening.) "Oh my God!"
I was even informed today that something was "very Oh my God."
So, enough was enough. I explained that "Oh my God!" is used in exceptional circumstances. If the ceiling falls in, they can say it. If we feel an earthquake, they can say it. If New Jack leaps from a balcony onto D-Von Dudley, they can say it. Until then, if I hear it, their name goes into the "OMG box," and two offenses earns them ... well, something. I don't know yet. An evil stare maybe.
Naturally, the "OMG" came with a lesson. It's texting shorthand for you-know-what, I told them. So naturally, one of the students decided to test me by saying "OM God." That landed him in the box, along with two others who, in response to the student's name going in the box, said, "Oh my God."
Here is the box I put on the board on Feb. 8. The writing to the right of the box was prompted by one clever student who decided that "ONG" was an acceptable alternative.
Hapkido update: I have attended back-to-back Hapkido classes, and I am proud to add sore quads and calves to my growing list of muscles that are reminding me I hadn't worked out in a long time. I spent much of today learning various tumbling moves. Most of the time, I was focused. The rest of the time, I was recalling images of William Shatner teaching Eddie Murphy and Robert DeNiro how to jump onto hoods of cars.
Speaking of King William, did you catch his latest infusion of musical genius Monday night?
Reader comment: Mandie-Marie Fiske, who has single-handedly expanded my readership to the Czech Republic (my next stop?), commented on my item about robots taking over South Korea beginning in 2015. "I see you have the same reaction to the Korea Times as I did. By the way: quick trivia ... The word "robot" is taken from what language? ... Give up?... Hint: It was first introduced in Karel Capek's book "RUR" ... Yes, it's a Czech word." So, memo to anyone who is bored at parties: Use that tidbit and tell me if it would be useful as an opening line.
Questions, comments, demands or suggestions can be sent here, or leave a comment on the Mark Fitzhenry's "Korea Blogging!" page here.
I returned to Hapkido training today after a four-month absence. As I explained best I could to my new teacher, I missed one month because of a bad leg, one month because I went home, and two months because I was lazy.
I don't want to say it was rough, but after class, when I went to my favorite coffee shop for a much-needed mocha, bagel and chocolate muffin, I looked so ragged and tired under my hooded sweatshirt that the owner, Mi Jin, also gave me a can of Campbell's cream of mushroom soup. She explained that this makes her young daughter, Seo Young, feel good every time she is very sick. So there you have it.
Class actually began on a strong note. The teacher -- no, I don't know his name; I just call him Teacher, just like students do at their schools here -- told me to start off with 300 reps on the jump rope. I did it without stopping and was mighty high and mighty until he said: "300 more." I got through 135 in a row before I slipped up, then did the rest without an error.
The rest of the class featured pushups (50, barely), stretching (or what passed for it), kicks (good), punches (weaker than Coors Light), and situps (not worth recounting). This new teacher bought the gym from the previous owner, who I'm told has returned to work as a movie stuntman.
South Korean national soccer team to be replaced by robots by 2015:This article, which ran last week in the Korea Times, states that foreign English teachers will be replaced by robots by around 2015. I thought about linking to it but opted not to take seriously (a) because it ran in the Korea Times and (b) because it says robots will replace English teachers by 2015. But I am linking to it now in light of another Korea Times article that ran today: Robot Golf Coaches Expected to Debut in 2015. I'm still waiting for the article headlined: Robots To Write Stories for Korea Times Starting Tomorrow.
Super Bowl thought of the day: I have little doubt that Sunday's game between Indy and New Orleans will be a cracker. The problem is, the week leading up to the game has been, and will continue to be, dull. My suggestion is for Jim Mora, who has coached both of these teams, to handle all press conference duties for both clubs from now until game day.
Questions, comments, demands or suggestions can be sent here, or leave a comment on the Mark Fitzhenry's "Korea Blogging!" page here.
