OCTOBER 24: ABYSSINIA, LOS ANGELES
This is the last entry I’ll write before I leave – which, for the record, is about 10 minutes after midnight Monday on the West Coast. What can I say, other than the stomach’s churning something fierce. Just when I think I have something covered, I don’t. The to-do list keeps growing. Whatever metaphor you can think of that concerns cutting off somebody’s head only to have three more heads pop up, it fits.
A category-by-category roundup of my last weekend in the L.A. area before I leave:
Baldy. The world’s foremost cancer-awareness-raising dog is set to go. He’s got his new cage. The paperwork is updated. His shots are updated. He’s eligible to ride on the high-speed train that’ll take me from Incheon (outside of Seoul) to Daegu. Amazing, by the way, that a two-hour, high-speed train from Incheon to Daegu costs $27 USD, and a crappy, slow trip from L.A. to San Diego doubles that.
Packing. I will give U-Haul money for the seventh time since July 2007. The countdown is as follows: Colorado to move out here, Inglewood for storage, Inglewood to move from one locale in West L.A. to another, Inglewood to move stuff out of storage into a garage, Northridge to move from West L.A. to Van Nuys, Northridge to move stuff from a garage in West L.A. to storage in Van Nuys, Northridge to move stuff out of storage into a friend’s garage, and Northridge again to move stuff from my bedroom to said friend in Van Nuys (and to find a place to dump my mattress. I’m sorry, did I say seven times? I meant eight.
And just think: I still have Sunday to learn that I have too much stuff to bring to Korea and not enough room. Space Bags just might not be enough (although they are amazing).
My last weekend in L.A. Last night I went to the Cat Club (my first experience on the Sunset Strip) to see a cover band led by Eric Dover, who has played guitar with Alice Cooper, among others. Dizzy Reed of Guns N Roses played keys and bass. The first three songs they played: It’s So Easy, Gimme Shelter and Sweet Emotion. Yep, good night.
Got to shake hands with Dizzy, too. I asked him if the rumors are true that Chinese Democracy is finally coming out in late November.
He shrugged, and I can't say I blame him.
Tonight I’ll be drinking with my soccer teammates. And tomorrow, it’s off to a Halloween party. I don’t have a lot of money, so I’ll be borrowing a tool belt and a “My name is” sign. Give up? I'm this guy!
Fantasy soccer. I put in my lineup for my ESPN English Premier League team for this weekend and next week's mid-week games. I am in the top 4.5 percent of the world among more than 80,000 players. Thanks for humoring me.
iTunes. This just might be a better invention than Facebook or Skype. The latest feature is the Genius tool. You select a song. You hit the Genius button. It cranks out a song list based on your selection. For example, based on Toys In The Attic by Aerosmith, the playlist includes I Can’t Explain ... Roadhouse Blues ... Born To Run ... West End Girls? Really? Bah, who am I to complain. (UPDATE: On the day I left for Korea, my computer was hit with a virus. I did not back up all of the songs. Thankfully, my sister sent me the songs on my desktop I sent to her place, so I have enough music. But all that work? Don't even ask ...)
I’m off in a couple of days. See you on the other side ... of the Pacific.
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OCTOBER 14: THERE'S LIGHT AT THE END OF THE RED TAPE
Forgive me for not writing in the past week. I was in the Red Sox bullpen. I hear they need some pitching help.
My process for being all nice and legal to travel to Korea is all but over. What's left is but a formality -- you know, kind of like being three outs away from a sweep in the ALCS with The Greatest Closer Of All-Time on the mound. I am experiencing what they call "hurry up and wait" time. (And no, I don't know who "they" are. It's like when the media say "some people" are questioning so-and-so's campaign strategy, and "some people" are in fact other media pundits.)
I've interviewed with the Korean Consulate in Los Angeles, and I can pick up my visa during a three-hour window on Wednesday.
I've made my plane reservation, and I can buy the ticket as soon as Korean Air approves The World's Cutest Corgi Mix for travel.
I've told my bosses when I'm scheduled to land but am awaiting for the best route for myself and Baldy to reach Daegu from Incheon.
And I've bought the kennel and set up an appointment with the vet so Baldy will be all set to become suitable for Korea. Once my veterinarian fills out the proper forms, I must either send them via Express Mail to Sacramento or drive to the USDA office in Los Angeles -- or drive to Sacramento, come to think of it -- to get them approved.
All of these processes should be simple at this point. There are drives to make and fees to pay, but otherwise everything is going as smoothly as a move across the Pacific can go.
That doesn't mean, however, that I'm the Three C's (calm, cool, collected). The other night I frantically looked for my passport, declared to my housemate that I'd have to buy another, and I finally found it in a folder I should've checked two hours earlier. Then, today, I scoured for it again, willed my blood pressure to somewhere around 170 over 130, and even called Petco to see if I left it there, when I realized the Korean Consulate might have it for, you know, processing my visa. And according to the Visa guide put together by Footprints Recruiting, that's exactly where it is.
Yep. Going smoothly.
My iTunes update: After downloading Jimi Hendrix Live At Berkeley, my iTunes library has reached 2,602 songs -- that's eight days worth of music. Barring any future purchases, that's my stash heading to Korea. Anyone care to guess how many of those are Doors songs? Whoever comes the closest wins a surprise.
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OCTOBER 7: AND IN OTHER NEWS, RUSH LIMBAUGH IS ANNOYING
I’m fat. Just thought I’d get that in the open. Not quite as fat as 14 years ago, when a colleague at The Washington Post asked when I was due. But I’m fat enough for my subtle Republican friend (and the Hannity to my Colmes, except I’m allowed to speak) Jeff Cookson to get on my case about working out before I head to Korea.
(That’s Jeff on the left, me to the right, and I never caught the political irony about that until just now.)
So today’s preparations included more iTunes storage, stuffing unnecessary clothes in garbage bags, cleaning out my car, and then taking care of me. I bought rollerblades back in March. I used them the day I bought them, but not since – until today. So I made the decision to drive to Santa Monica, rollerblade along the beach and take in the sunset on the Pacific.
Two people glided past me in the first minute, until I was able to start cruising. Once my legs got used to pushing off the pavement I glided a couple of miles toward Malibu, turned around, tracked back under the Santa Monica Pier, reached Venice, then stopped at
this place, watched the sunset and made sure I hydrated myself properly.
By the time I returned to my car, it hurt to take my rollerblades off. But it felt good. It was a "I just exercised like I’m supposed to" kind of hurt, not a catatonic "So this is what the Fourth Circle of Hell feels like" kind of abuse I put my body through at a soccer tournament last month. I definitely need to do this, say twice a week until I leave, along with riding the stationary bike, to get to where my shirts fit like they ought to.
Political note: Because of this trip, which included a maddening "drive" in rush hour traffic during which I blasted the heat and hypnotically tried to move my used 1997 Saturn SL’s temperature gauge away from the "I’m Overheating, Dumbass" notation, I missed the debate. Well, to steal from Office Space, I won’t say I missed it.
Our friends at Politifact.com have reviewed many of the significant claims made on the campaign trail, be it television ads, interviews, speeches and debates.
The staff has researched 138 of Barack Obama’s claims and determined that 66 of them are Half True, Barely True, False or "Pants On Fire." As for John McCain, 80 of his 132 reviewed statements are Half True or worse, including six "Pants On Fire" claims.
Shall we review? I think we shall. Combined, Mr. No More Politics As Usual and Mr. Straight Talk Express have told significant fibs on 54 percent of those statements.
Tell me again why I was supposed to watch this thing.
My iTunes update: 1,551 songs downloaded. If I were to play my entire library once, it would take 4.7 days.
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OCTOBER 5: ALL THAT I CAN LEAVE BEHIND
I began the process of packing a week or so ago. The truth is, I don't know when I am leaving L.A. because it hinges on the visa process.
My school received the necessary paperwork (which includes college transcripts, a criminal record check and my American University diploma among other things) five days ago. After they do whatever it is they do, I must conduct an interview at the Korean Consulate in L.A., after which I'm set to go.
I'm still scheduled to start Oct. 31. And yes, I'm thinking what you're thinking, but don't worry, there ought to be other Red Sox fans there with whom I will celebrate. (You see that sentence there? Perfect use of who/whom, and I did not end it with a preposition. This is why I'm going to teach English, and also why these schools hire Red Sox fans instead of Yankees fans.)
I know I'm heading to a new culture, but still, I need some comforts of home. That's why I have, at this moment, downloaded 1,224 songs onto my new laptop's iTunes program. That's enough for 3.6 days. And I still have about half of my CD collection to go.
The decision to load much of my music library is an easy one. Provided my laptop has the room -- and it does -- I'll be able to listen to anything from a-ha to ZZ Top at my apartment, on the plane or when I'm writing at a cafe.
My DVD collection, however, is another story.
Jerry Maguire, The Karate Kid, Reality Bites, Reservoir Dogs, Dave Chappelle's Show season 2, Red Dwarf seasons 1-3, The (British, naturally) Office seasons 1-2 and Christmas Special, Snatch, Run Lola Run, His Girl Friday, Stripes, The Best of Benny Hill, Goldfinger, The (real) Longest Yard, The Departed, Curb Your Enthusiasm season 1, This Is Spinal Tap.
I'm not bringing any of those.
Brutal, huh?
So what made the cut?
TV shows: The Young Ones, Fawlty Towers, Red Dwarf season 4, two DVDs of Monty Python's Flying Circus (six episodes; the DVDs have the Spanish Inquisition sketches and The Cycling Tour episode).
Movies: The Commitments, Holy Grail, Animal House, On The Waterfront, Annie Hall, Slap Shot, From Russia With Love, M*A*S*H, The Godfather, Casablanca, and my all-time No. 1 pick, Network.
Misc.: Live Aid, 2004 ALCS Games 4-7, 2004 World Series Games 1 and 4. The baseball might serve an educational purpose. Perhaps my advanced students would like to watch some of the baseball and pretend to be announcers. If so, I'll be sure to give them the inning A-Fraud slapped the ball out of Bronson Arroyo's glove. Some DVDs are just timeless.
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